Note how-to

How-to Basics

How to Write a Thank-You Message

“Seriously, people. If you want to thank someone, you already know what deed or thought or way of being you appreciate about them, right? That’s the hard part, done. Now comes the easy part — say the thanks *to* them, in the way that you’d want to hear thanks expressed to you. Make the love in your heart known to others, in a sincere, keepsake, handwritten note.” =)


When to Write a Note?


A note of thanks should be written for gifts and thoughtfulnesses of all kinds. For example: holiday, wedding, birthday, baby shower, birth, as well as hospitality, dinners, or parties should all be acknowledged.

Most agree that job interviews, referrals, and references also require a proper thank-you, as do condolences and other acts of kindness or generosity. Rule of thumb: If you appreciate the thought behind the action (and the action itself), send a thank-you note.

Writing the Note

Invest in simple note cards (as opposed to sheets of stationery, which are traditionally considered more formal and reserved for condolences, recommendations, and business correspondence). The focus is on the writing, not the paper design.


Write in conventional blue or black ink. In an ideal world, send out the thank-you note as soon as you can. The longer you wait, the less likely you are to actually write the note. That being said, a late thank-you note is of course better than not sending one at all.

To remind yourself to send a thank-you, instill in your mind that you cannot use, wear, eat, or drink the gift until the thank-you note is in the mail. [See helpful hints for more.. helpful hints.]

1. Acknowledge the giver

Aside from beginning your note with a greeting ( “Dear Aunt Jane”), mention how grateful you are for her generosity and thoughtfulness:

“Dear Aunt Jane,
You always seem to get me exactly what I need!”

2. Keep it simple and specific

You don’t have to write a novel (unless you want to include it as a thank-you gift). Simply acknowledge a gift directly by saying, “Thank you so much for the ______.”

If you were given some money, do not list the exact amount; write, “Thank-you for the cheque.”

“Thank you so much for the new brown cardigan.”

3. Tell them how

Let the giver know how you will use the gift and say something nice about how the gift has made a difference in your life.

This is pretty easy if you like the gift, but if you hate it, then try to find some redeeming attribute that you can mention —- just don’t go suspiciously overboard by touting the world-peace-inspiring virtues of homemade fruitcake.

If you were given money, let the giver know how you plan to use it.

“The material is so soft and cozy, it will definitely keep me warm this winter in Winnipeg.”

4. Talk about seeing them

End a note with a mention of seeing the giver, either in the past or in anticipation of seeing them again.

Par example, “It was great to see you the other night at dinner. I hope we can do it again soon!”

This will link the giver to you and acknowledge your past, present, and future relationship. Life is all about personal relations.

“I loved seeing you this week and I am looking forward to your visiting us this summer. No need to bring fruitcake; I’m sure we’ll still have some left over.”

5. Don’t give a thorough update on your life

Thank-you notes are simply meant to show your gratitude for someone else’s kindness.

They are the applause at the end of the day; short, impactful, expressions of appreciation. They are not the place to dilute your message of thanks nor to discuss what is going on in your life — save that for an e-mail or phone call.

6. Sign your name with affection

Or end with any salutation that you feel comfortable signing off with, but make sure that you do sign the note clearly. There is nothing quite like receiving a note and not knowing whom it’s from. (This is where those graphology classes come in handy.)

“With love and best wishes, Me”